There used to be a lot of snakes in Singapore

I chanced upon this extremely illogical but hissslarious article by T. S. Daniel (19 May 2004, Singapore Can!), when I was googling on "Singapore Snakes".

There used to be a lot of snakes in Singapore

"There are not very many snakes slithering around the streets of Singapore, But there are a few. And they are very big. Usually about 30 metres long. It wasn’t always like this. Snakes used to be much smaller and there were thousands of them everywhere. What happened is that the stronger snakes started to eat the weaker snakes. This usually meant that the longer snakes were swallowing the shorter snakes. To cut a long story short, the reason there aren’t many snakes left and why those that are left are so big is because they have swallowed all the others. It has been calculated that within 5 years there will be only one snake left in Singapore. And that snake will be so big that when he gets hungry he will mistake the end of his tail for another snake and start eating it. This won’t hurt, of course, because his other end will be so far away. And snake pain doesn’t travel very fast. This, the mad hotness of the sun beating down and the lack of water will probably mean that he will gobble himself up in no time. Then there will be no snakes at all. This is what happened in Ireland."